What is it really like to be British?

Negli anni, il carattere britannico è stato presentato al mondo in tutte le salse: nella letteratura, nell’arte, al teatro, al cinema; sia dagli inglesi stessi che da tante altre nazioni, tutti pronti a contribuire alla creazione di questo simpatico stereotipo. È un passatempo che diverte e che fa divertire. Ma cosa passa veramente per la testa di un inglese (stereotipato) quando si trova a dover interagire con altri membri della comunità?

What is it really like to be British?

► Worrying that you may have accidentally packed £100,000 worth of counterfeit notes and a kalashnikov in your suitcase as you pass through “nothing to declare” in customs.

► Being unable to stand and leave a room without first saying “right”.

► Not understanding for the third time what someone is saying to you, so just laughing and hoping for the best.

► Saying “anywhere here will be fine” when the taxi is directly outside your front door.

► Being sure to start touching your bag 15 minutes before you arrive at your train station, so the person in the aisle seat is fully prepared for your exit.

► Repeatedly pressing the door button on the train before it’s illuminated, to assure your fellow commuters that you have the situation in hand.

► Having someone sit down next to you on the train, meaning you’ll have to eat your crisps at home.

► The huge sense of relief after your perfectly valid train ticket is accepted by the inspector.

► The horror of someone you only half know saying: “Oh I’m getting that train too”.

► “Sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – Translation: Unless this bag is actually a person, I suggest you move it.

► Looking away so sharply as someone enters their PIN that you accidentally dislocate your neck.

► Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change.

► Saying hello to a friend in the supermarket, then creeping around like a burglar to avoid seeing them again.

► Watching with quiet sorrow as you receive a different haircut to the one you requested.

► Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying “I think that’s right”.

► Overtaking someone on foot and having to keep up the uncomfortably fast pace until safely over the horizon.

► Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it.

► Considering it necessary to do a little jog over zebra crossings, while throwing in an apologetic mini-wave.

► Punishing people who don’t say thank you by saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible.

► The overwhelming sorrow of finding a cup of tea that you had forgotten about.

► Turning down a cup of tea for no reason and instantly knowing you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake.

► “You’ll have to excuse the mess” – Translation: I’ve spent seven hours tidying in preparation for your visit.

► Indicating that you want the last roast potato by trying to convince everyone else to take it.

► Mishearing somebody’s name on the second time of asking, meaning you must now avoid them forever.

► Leaving it too late to correct someone, meaning you must live with your new name forever.

► Staring at your phone in silent horror until the unknown number stops ringing.

► Hearing a recording of your own voice and deciding it’s perhaps best never to speak again.

► The relief when someone doesn’t answer their phone after three rings and you can hang up.

► Filming an entire fireworks display on your phone, knowing full well you’ll never, ever watch it again.

---

Your comments are always very welcome.

---